For centuries, society has told women how to behave, dress, and live. If one of them did different, they would tell her that she is wrong or bad.

This article explores how social conditioning limits our freedom — and how to break free from it.

What is Women’s Conditioning?

Even today the culture, family, religion and media influence women’s beliefs, behaviors and expectations. Our society teaches women how to think, feel and act. This is how patterns are created in our lives.

According to UN Women, gender norms continue to limit women’s opportunities and influence their identities from a young age. That’s how women’s conditioning is created.

Let’s look deeper at how this shows up in everyday life.

How Society Shapes Women’s Roles

Roles and responsibilities

Have you ever felt like you always have to take care of others first and felt guilty for resting or saying no? Do people ask you about when are you going to marry someone and you feel like you’re behind? That’s because for society motherhood and marriage are the ultimate goals in life.

They want you to sacrifice your own needs and wishes to accommodate theirs. That’s not you who’s choosing, that’s how your mind is controlled by their expectations. In order to avoid judgment and feel accepted, you settle for what others say it’s “right”.

Communication and expression

Do you find yourself being too polite, soft-spoken just to avoid confrontation? Do you apologize frequently even if that was often unnecessary? Do you smile or laugh when you’re uncomfortable around people or even if someone is not treating you right?

Afraid to fully express your opinions or achievements to not seem “arrogant”? That’s because you were taught to stay small so that others feel good at your expense. 

Relationships and emotions

Do you believe it’s your job to fix, heal or save a partner? Do you associate love with suffering? Are you responsible for keeping peace and avoiding conflict?

That’s because you saw people being disrespected and hurt who still stayed in that harmful relationship. They remained silent and gave up on themselves just because others made them feel guilty for voicing their struggles. Because a woman naming a man’s dysfunctional behavior threatened their patriarchal power.

Making women submissive meant they were going to get away with it. Have you noticed how a woman is shamed publicly for cheating someone and how for a man is something “normal”.

They even blame the woman for him cheating. So you learned that you have to stay, forgive and end up exhausted. If something doesn’t work, you’ll assume it’s your fault. 

Work

Have you ever been told that you’re too assertive or ambitious? Are you doubting your competence or your career potential? Do you tend to underprice your skills for fear of not seeming demanding?

Once again, men’s opinions are dominating life expectations. Cause why would a woman be involved in business when she has kids at home and food to prepare, right? Well, thank God, there are also women in the workforce.

Body and appearance

Is there a pressure to stay slim, youthful and flawless? Is beauty linked to being more lovable? Why is there a shame for natural body functions like aging and body hair? Who created the illusion of the “perfect woman”?

Why do men feel so entitled to a woman’s body and her sexual expression? What made men think they have the right to tell women what clothes they should wear and how to appear in public?

We’re talking about adults who have the right to make their own choice. But somehow there are still people who dictate someone else’s decisions.

Culture and media

It’s interesting that so many movies portray the women being saved by men or finding happiness only when they have found “the man”. How is that women are mostly presented as housewives and objects of desire?

There are still messages reinforcing today the idea of a woman being submitted to her man. There are those “feminine virtues” or “the good wife should be doing this and that”. These are indirect means of controlling the way a woman lives her life.

How to Break Free from Social Conditioning

Do you feel like a prisoner in your own body? There are voices in your head that you mistake for being yours. When in reality your own voice is buried underneath other people’s opinions and expectations. I invite you to find your own voice and create your own path through self-love.

Here are some tips to help you on your empowerment journey:

1. Awareness – notice the patterns without being harsh on yourself
2. Question the origin of your beliefs – are they really yours or someone else’s?
3. Express yourself – use art, writing, singing or any other way that makes you feel free
4. Set boundaries – recognize when someone is crossing the line and state clearly what doesn’t work for you
5. Tolerate discomfort – stepping into unfamiliar territory won’t be easy at first, some will not like that you can’t be controlled anymore
6. Reconnect with your body and intuition – move your body, dance, stretch, be open to the rich senses your body has gifted you with
7. Surround yourself with empowering voices – spending considerable time around people who promote the conditioning won’ t support your progress
8. Reclaim your self-worth – discover your true self. This time your happiness is not defined by others but you
9. Celebrate every small act of freeing yourself from the burden of conditioning – it won’t happen overnight, it’s a process, but every step is leading you there and you should feel proud of it

Final thoughts

I understand how hard it is for you to unlearn the patterns. You had no control over it when you were younger. You internalized all of the things society and people around you constantly repeated to you.

I know why you did it. Because you felt safe, accepted and loved in that way. Because when you were authentic, that part of you wasn’t fully welcomed. So you learned to shrink yourself and adopt their limited views.

But now as an adult, you can return to who you were before the world told you who to be.

Will you choose to reclaim your freedom or will you let the thought of “What if I am made for more than this?” haunts you for the rest of your life? The first option will cause adversity for sure. The second one will lead to self-abandonment.

You always have a choice — to live free from the limits of women’s conditioning.

What beliefs have you outgrown as a woman? Share your thoughts in the comments.