There was a little girl coming from school and as she entered the house, she heard people screaming.

Her little brother was crying, begging them to stop arguing. You could feel the tension in the air…

Her heart was beating so fast and after she closed the door of her room she started to cry.

Have you ever wished that when you come home, you will find PEACE?

Then, this is FOR YOU!

I was that little girl once, but if I could survive that, YOU CAN DO IT too.

Here are some perspectives which will help you see things in a healthy way:

1. You are not guilty for what happens between your parents. It’s not you who caused that conflict, the only ones responsible are they.
2. You don’t have to solve this problem. The issues your parents experience in their relationship is not your business. Only they can come with solutions if possible.
3. Your parents are in a conflict, you don’t have to be. It is overwhelming to have to choose between your parents and their opinions about each other. This behavior has a negative effect on child’s emotional state. The child can’t choose between them. There is a pressure when a parent talks negatively about the other parent. The child doesn’t know how to react, because he does not want to hurt them, being against the other parent. You don’t have to be their judge. You should love and respect both of them, as for their relationship it’s better to be neutral. This is harder at an early age and without emotional support.
4. After divorce, there is no “we as a family”, but “me and mum” and “me and dad”. I know it’s hard to make this dissociation, but you no longer live with both of your parents. Some parents have a friendly relationship to make the communication about their children’s needs easier, but most of them don’t. There might still be discussions about the conflict, particularly when there are resentments and hate involved. A parent might advice the child to not talk to the other one. Tell your parents that when you spend time together, you feel bad when there is negative talk about the other. Their problem has to stay out of your relationship.
5. The experience of your parents’ divorce does not have to be yours too. Maybe you are afraid of failure in this area of your life. Well, what you choose to think about yourself is essential. You can have successful relationships. I won’t lie to you, it won’t be easy, but if you work on yourself you can make it. Change destructive thoughts and believe in yourself. Your life is more than what happens to your parents’ relationship. Your future depends on you and what road you choose.

Don’t forget that your thoughts and mind influence the way you build your life, relationships, and health. Take care of them and embrace optimism, You are not alone, YOUR STRUGGLES MATTER and you deserve PEACE.

Camelia-Malina B.

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