First of all, I want you to know that I’m not judging you. This is nothing to feel ashamed of, but to understand.

A situationship is a kind of sexual (emotional) relationship with someone without the implication of love, usually on a short-term period.

Here are some of the reasons why a woman might find herself into a situationship:

Pretending to be your friend

So you feel comfortable to share even intimate details with him. Then the physical barriers get blurred. Suddenly you’re no longer friends but something more.

I’m sure you’ve already heard about the term “friends with benefits”. Now you got into troubles. You become emotionally attached. When you’re already that far you will put up with someone else’s terms.

Best advice: don’t share information that is too personal and avoid spending time alone with that person, especially at home.

Take things slow when you meet someone.

Time and physical boundaries show someone’s real intentions.

Low self-esteem

Maybe this was your first relationship, which can have a big impact on you. When your intentions are good it hits differently. You don’t have enough experience and you don’t trust your gut.

You can have a great amount of self-worth though, but too entangled in it to see what’s really happening there.

Hidden meaning of words

You hear his words and see his actions, but you don’t really go deep into their meaning. And that’s because you’re overwhelmed by the intimacy that it’s happening way too soon and feels intense. It messes up with your rational thinking.

He tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship, that you deserve better. You feel compassion, try to understand him and it might seem like a compliment.

Well, that actually means he doesn’t want a relationship, so he won’t treat you the way you deserve. He is making you responsible for it if you continue.

Most of us will, because we’re already hooked up on it. It’s the confusion and the uncertainty that keeps you going for more.

Difficulty of letting go

You think the connection is worth keeping. Of course this happens after you’re already emotionally attached to someone and physically involved. You share your traumas, dreams, vulnerabilities, fears, your body, time.

You’re already used to the comfort and affection that many struggle to have. Maybe there was a long time you didn’t feel so close to someone. All of these make it difficult to end it.

Trauma

It keeps you stuck and it blinds you. The feeling of helplessness and the freezing mode makes you feel like you can’t walk away from it.

It’s not that you don’t know that it’s bad for you, but you can’t accept it. You feel the pain of not being chosen and valued, but that pain is like a magnet.

It’s familiar, because you felt that when you were a child. You learned to close your eyes to disrespect and dysfunctional behavior. To wait and hope for change when you should distance yourself from it.

Maybe you’re a people-pleaser, always acting nice to people that don’t deserve it.

You might be also used to emotional immature people, so you don’t recognize it.

Depression

Poor mental health plays a role in it. You’re most prone to it when you’re struggling with the difficulties in your life, when loneliness feels heavy.

It’s when you don’t prioritize your needs and when you don’t face yourself and your pain. When you let your happiness depend on others, you gave up on your power and peace.

It is in that vulnerable place that you give second chances and go back to someone that already hurt you.

Final thoughts

In the modern days, this type of relationship is considered normal and even harmless. It’s your choice. There are consequences for your mental state even if people claim that it’s fine.

There is confusion, low self-esteem and lack of self-respect. It causes overthinking, constantly decoding the real meaning of words and actions, anxiety, tiredness, sadness, regret.

You go through self-abandonment, humiliation. begging, breaking your boundaries, feeling unsafe and sick.

It might work better for men that are not serious about relationships and commitment. It’s for those that only want the fun part, but not the responsibility and facing the struggles.

The price a person pays for it’s too big and it’s not worth it.

When someone makes you feel confused, when you hear those words, when it’s too good to be true, think twice.

Better to stay away, than to regret it later. And if you already experienced it, learn from it and focus on your growth.

The fact that you accepted it, it’s not a coincidence. It’s because some wounds and traumas were not taken care of and processed.

You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at that time, but is your responsibility to make a choice.

You have to save yourself. Nobody is going to come and change your life and make it better.

Don’t settle for less. You deserve love and respect.